Well Liam how are you getting on with saving money?
Very good George, the Defence review helped enormously, gave us legitamacy to carry out all the cuts, we can reduce it even further as the troops pull out from Afghanistan.
You are not getting rid of any civil servants at the MOD.
Oh no George they much too important, hiding all my mistakes and bad decision making, the wrong equipment purchased.
Absolutely Liam, when we want to get rid of public sector workers all I do is reduce the central Government Grants to local Authorities and it looks like we are becoming more effecient, but they have to get rid of townhall workers not us. That’s the one thing I learnt from Gordon Brown, keep the civil servants sweet and they will watch your back, no leaks to the press or oposition, no awkward questions in parliament, all squares coverred.
So we are going to keep on with the same number of civil servants?
Absoluetely! there are so many people working for Government we can get rid of, health workers, firemen, police, armed forces, but we must keep the civil servants, we are having a little spat over pensions at the moment but its just shadow boxing, a few concessions here and there it will all be settled.
Surely the newspapers will cut up rough over it?
No. No after buying off Rupert Murdoch with BSB we have a clear run to the next parliamentary elections, all the newspapers have been told to focus firmly on Ed Miliband, any dirt they can smear, policy will not come into the equation, every little piece of family tittle-tattle will be headline news, Jeff Randall and Adam Boulton will tear into Labour politicians to show how incompetent they are, after all that is what they are paid for. Even Alex Salmon has sold out to the Australian/American, no we have the next election sown up!